The second time is scarier!!

So I have been thinking a lot about birth this time around and how it will be different. I remember feeling fairly accomplished after birthing Ashton because despite the fact that he was a c-section, I laboured for a fairly long time (as far as I am concerned anyway). I remember so much pain and not being able to ease it. The epidural kind of sucked because it dulled the pain but the pressure was intense! Ashton was posterior so it was excruciating pain for the most part. My prior sense of accomplishment has been turned in to a sense of fear for this one. Over the last few days, I have talked to a lot of people about this. My mother with her 36 (?) hours of labour prior to a c-section, friends who have had one baby, friends who have had 2 babies, and Jesse. I feel a little better now. Last week was a fairly intense baby week. On Thursday, Jesse and I went to prenatal class. We are going again as a refresher and to sort of feel more focused on the baby since we're both so busy with Ashton and life and whatnot. On Friday, I went to the Doctor and found out that I am very likely to be able to have a V-bac. This IS what I want and here are a few reasons:
-If I am scheduled to have a C-section, I will feel less of a sense of accomplishment. I guarantee this...it's just the type of person I am and feeling accomplished is very important to me.
-If I am scheduled to have a C-section, they will not do it until 41.5 weeks, which will be roughly close to the date that they would induce me if they induced previous c-sections (which they don't). At this point, I will probably have one anyway (although my Doctor assured me that they will try to naturally get me to go in to labour first). And if I haven't had this baby by 41.5 weeks, I will probably have exploded.
-Recovery with Ashton AND my newborn. I have a wonderful man, wonderful family and friends but I'm going to have to be on my own at some point. My c-section recovery was ridiculously easy the last time but it is major surgery so I might not be that lucky again.
So V-bac it is, hopefully. I have been referred to an obstetrician so hopefully that will clear things up.

Jesse and I have enrolled Ashton in a sports program for toddlers that will be running from September to December. Jesse will take him and we're really excited for this! We are both really hoping that it will be something nice for him for around when the baby comes. Ashton has shown a lot of interest in kicking and throwing balls (and just running around holding them). Jesse is completely thrilled about taking him to this. Working full time hasn't given him a huge chance to take Ashton to things like this too often.

I absolutely adore my son. Yesterday, I walked in and saw him sitting beside the desk and he had almost completely covered himself in neon pink post-it notes. When he saw me, he passed me one and then assisted in passing them all to me to help me clean them up. He is very willing to clean up usually...we make it fun!
These last 2 days, he has woken up from his nap screaming. Usually he wakes up happy and I can prepare him a snack before I go in to get him because he just plays and chats to himself in the crib. These last 2 days, we snuggle for awhile when he wakes up screaming. When I ask him questions like "Are you hungry/thirsty?", he shakes his head no. He just cuddles me and then he's fine. Today, he cuddled for awhile on my chest and then pointed to his dresser. This indicated that he wanted his comb. So I brushed his hair and then he brushed his hair and he was happy. He also likes to use my hairbrush to brush my hair. We have lots of fun styling hair.